PARADOX

真的，我敢肯定你和这位作者一定有同感。。。

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It's just impossible to watch the woman without the sound down, not least because her incessant groans have been misinterpreted by me neighbour.

"What were you watching while the missus was out?" he said to me on Saturday, winking away like a pervy nutcase. "I heard it!" he added, with a nudge.

Of course Connors and McEnroe were grunters. Jimmy made a sound like a chimp on heat but Mac's was more like the satisfied moan of a bloke who had just let one go.

Bit graphic that but you know what I mean. These lasses, starting with the startled gerbil squeak that used to come out of Seles's gob, are all at it now.

The Williams sisters use it for emphasis - the easier the smash for Serena, the more windows in SW19 get shattered.

But Sharapova has really taken the whole thing to another level now. It brings a new meaning to the phrase 'tennis racket'.

If she ever has a babby that lass, there is going to be a midwife crisis after the sixth one runs out of the labour ward clutching her bleeding eardrums.

It's got to put your opponent off - perhaps even more than spending 10 minutes having a slash and getting your hair nice for the fifth set - Feliciano Lopez, you're a big jessie!

But these screaming ab-dabs have got to stop.

I reckon if you can challenge a decision based on Hawk-eye, you should be able to challenge noise based on the aural equivalent - Hawk-ear, if you will.

Go up above a certain number of decibels and you lose the point. Job done. Course the folk at Wimbers'd never agree to 'owt like that.

They're such sound decision-makers, hence giving the players a day off on a perfect sunny afternoon yesterday. Dopes.

It's ironic that the Russian beauty is wearing a swan outfit. Your regular English swan, I'm told, is called the mute swan. D'you hear that, Maria, pet? Mute. Not a sound.

I hope that very good little Henin wins the Ladies' Champs. Silent but deadly. Take note Maria.

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作者用诙谐的语调调侃了温布尔顿上各位的叫声，实在笑翻了

谁让Maria Sharapova是个美女呢，结合起来像还真得让人浮想联翩。。。

倒